Wer ich bin? Ist dies von Belang? Genügt diese Frage nach dem Subjekt, erfasst sie die Tiefe einer Existenz? Wer und Was müssen ebenbürtig gelesen werden, soll der Versuch der Ergründung eines Menschen von - fragmentiertem wenigstens - Erfolg gekrönt sein. Welche Persönlichkeit also verbirgt sich hinter diesen Worten virtueller Vergänglichkeit?
Eine starke. Eine schwache. Eine zerbrechliche. Eine verwirrte und verirrte. Eine Persönlichkeit, die mit klarsichtiger Naivität durchs Leben schreitet, auf der Suche nach etwas, das Sinn verleiht in dieser grotesken Welt des summenden Wechselspiels von betörender Schönheit & grausamer Tristesse.
Getragen wird sie von beherztem Idealismus. Ein schweres Wort, vielfach besetzt, zuweilen sehr missverstanden. Ein zweischneidiger Begleiter, droht man doch, an seinem Anspruch an eine bessere Welt gar zu baldig zu ersticken, wenngleich Hoffnung als Triebmotor die gebeutelte Seele zu nähren vermag. Ist er mir manche Stunde ein Dorn in Geist & Fleisch, könnte ich doch nie ohne ihn existieren, treibt er schließlich an zu glauben, woran auch immer.
Als Widerpart zu diesem und ergänzendem Teilstück zugleich hat die Weisheit des melancholischen Wanderers sich meine Seele als Heimstatt erkoren. Traurigkeit innewohnt dieser Welt, sie anzuerkennen als natürlich, ja gar ihre Existenz notwendig zu wollen ist die Botschaft der Melancholie; nicht Zorn und Bitterkeit sollen die Kammern unsrer Herzen füllen, eine bloße Traurigkeit genügt, um umso stärker die Farben der Fröhlichkeit empfangen zu können.
In äußerer Gestalt erfüllt indes die Fotografie als Kind des ungetrübten Ausdrucks vollumfänglich ihren Sinn, erhält sich selbst gemäß dem Wesen der Kunst und schafft dem Geist eine Sphäre des verrückten Entrücktseins, stillt den expressiven Drang des Menschen nach Freiheit. Sie ist die Flammenzunge, welche im Glühen des Idealismus unter wachsamen Augen der Wehmut Funken schlägt und abstrakte Botschaft in verstandenes Symbol transformiert.
Zuletzt verbleibt der sprachliche Ausdruck, der als Schmieröl dieses Apparats fungiert und zuvor genannte Elemente in gegossener Schrift vereint; er dient als Gerüst, webt Brücken über andernfalls verwaiste Klüfte in den Kavernen des geistigen Labyrinths und spannt ein Netz, Halt und Obdach bietend für die in Finsternis verirrten Fragmente des Alles, was eine Person zu beschreiben vermag.
Friday, October 23, 2015
Eine Selbstdarstellung. Unvollständig.
Photographer. Writer. Idealist. Pseudo-intellectual observing and criticizing society.
I'm a bit shy, but very funny and open-min...- oh well, fuck that shit.
I'm human.
A struggling animal being consisting of various contradicting idiosyncrasies. Fearless, open-minded and awesome from time to time; lonely, insecure and trembling likewise. A whole-hearted person embracing emotionality on a profound level of existence.
I crave authenticity in life, in people. Something real, something beneath our societal masks and shells fed by fear of disconnection.
Thursday, October 22, 2015
Die verrückte Welt, in der wir leben.
Ich verstehe es nicht.
Warum ist es so viel einfacher, Schuld zuzuweisen einem Einzelnen, anstatt unser eigenes Gewissen zu erforschen?
Am 20. Juni dieses Jahres fand in Graz eine "Amokfahrt" statt. Ein Mann wütete in der Innenstadt, tötete mehrere und verletzte viele Menschen. Wir alle waren schockiert, ohnmächtig überrascht ob dieses Unglücks. Es wurden Kerzen angezündet, es wurde getrauert um die Opfer, die Menschen, die nun nicht mehr da waren. Wir haben unsere Betroffenheit entdeckt. Graz trauerte, so titelten es alle Medien.
Ich bin selber Grazer. Ich liebe diese Stadt. Ich habe an diesem Tag niemanden verloren, der mir nahe war. Ich kann zutiefst verstehen, dass dieses Attentat eine Wunde aufgekratzt hat. Und trotzdem musste ich diese Trauerphase der ganzen Stadt mit einem galligen Gefühl im Munde erleben.
Denn, auf der Welt sterben viele Menschen, jeden Tag, an den banalsten Dingen. An Krankheiten, die bei uns längst vergessen sind, an Hunger, an Einsamkeit womöglich. Aber diese Tode haben keine Qualität für uns, sie sind zu abstrakt, sie berühren uns nicht. Sie dürfen uns gar nicht berühren, denn sie sind verschuldet durch ein System, an dem wir - schuldlos - partizipieren. Denn wir können auch nichts dafür, dass wir hier geboren sind, dass es uns gut geht. Aber irgendwo in unsrem Innersten wissen wir, dass hier etwas schief läuft, und das macht uns Angst.
Die Amokfahrt macht uns auch Angst, aber es ist eine direkte Furcht vor einzelnen Wahnsinnigen. Es gibt kein diffuses Gefühl, dass man vielleicht selbst, wenigstens passiv, Mitschuld tragen könnte am Unglück.
Aber wäre es nicht schön, wenn wir unsere Empathie nicht nur dann entdecken würden, wenn die Menschen vor unserer Türschwelle sterben, sondern auch dann, wenn es weit weg geschieht? Denn wir leben in einem Zeitalter, in dem man sich informieren kann. Nicht muss; Ignoranz ist ein guter Ratgeber, um den Wahnsinn dieser Welt zu ertragen.
Nicht muss. Aber kann.
...
Ich verstehe es nicht.
Warum tun die Menschen böse Dinge, selbst wenn sie Gutes bewirken wollen? Warum denken sie nicht etwas weiter über die Schwelle ihres Horizonts hinaus?
In verschiedenen Städten, unter anderem auch in Graz, kann man für ärmere Menschen Essen oder Trinken vorbezahlen, z.B. einen Kebap, den diese sich sonst nicht leisten könnten. Was für eine nette Geste, möchte ich sagen. Aber so einfach ist das nicht. Denn die Produktion dieses Kebaps verursacht viel mehr menschliches als auch tierisches Leid auf der ganzen Welt. Unmittelbar leidet das Tier, welches unter erbärmlichen Bedingungen vor sich hin vegetiert, mittelbar leiden Menschen, z.B. durch die Rodung von (Regen-)Wäldern, die zuvor noch ihr Zuhause waren, um Soja zur Fütterung der Massentierhaltung anzubauen. Oder durch den exorbitanten Wasserverbauch, der bei der Produktion von Fleisch anfällt.
Und das alles, damit ein armer Mensch in Österreich (der alleine dadurch, dass er hier lebt, trotzdem zu den reichsten der ganzen Welt gehört) einen Kebap essen kann.
...
Ich verstehe es nicht.
Warum lügen die Menschen, nicht nur anderen gegenüber, sondern vor allem zu sich selbst? Warum neiden sie jenen ihr kleines Leben, die ohnehin schon nichts besitzen, und erfinden Zahlen und falsche Tatsachen?
Europa hat gerade die Problematik von globalen Flüchtlingsströmungen zu bewältigen. Immer wieder tauchen Berichte auf, vornehmlich im Internet, die mit fingierten Zahlen und angeblichen Wahrheiten doch nur Unwahrheit verbreiten. Ursache und Wirkung werden verwechselt, kleine Details zu empörenden Szenarien aufgebauscht. Warum besitzt der Flüchtling eigentlich ein Smartphone? Das darf der doch gar nicht. Er hat gefälligst nichts zu besitzen, wenn er sich schon anmaßt, hier in unser gelobtes Land „einzureisen“.
Im Gegensatz zum Flüchtling besitzen wir oft nicht nur ein Smartphone, sondern dazu noch ein Tablet und Notebook und am besten noch zehn andere Sachen. Wenn man aber auf der Flucht ist, im Taumel zwischen Krieg & Vertreibung Länder überqueren muss und getrennt ist von seinen Lieben, dann ist ein Smartphone mit Internetzugang plötzlich kein Luxusgut mehr, sondern eine Quelle, um nicht verloren zu gehen in all dem grausigen Treiben. Aber wir neiden es ihnen, diesen – es sind ja ganz ganz sicher zuhauf – Sozialschmarotzern, Wirtschaftsflüchtlingen.
Was heißt dieses Wort eigentlich? Wer sind denn die wahren Schmarotzer? Vielleicht doch wir selbst, die wir für €3,99 unsere T-Shirts kaufen aus Bangladesch oder China und uns dann beschweren, wenn die Leute von dort zu uns kommen, um sich nicht länger ausbeuten zu lassen? Sind nicht wir die größten Sozialschmarotzer in diesem globalen Spiel des Strebens nach Wohlstand?
...
Ich verstehe es nicht.
Warum ist es so viel einfacher, Anteil zu nehmen am Leid eines einzelnen Geschöpfes, als am Leid vieler?
Vor Kurzem wurde ein Löwe getötet, Cecil. Er hat sogar einen Vornamen. Es schmerzt uns zutiefst, was mit ihm geschehen ist, und dieses Monstrum, dieser Unmensch, der ihn getötet hat, muss dafür zur Rechenschaft gezogen werden.
Und warum? Weil wir nicht daran schuld sind. Weil wir unsere ganze Wut auf diesen Mann projizieren können, denn wir haben den Löwen nicht getötet. Nein, wir töten nicht einen Löwen, wir töten nur Millionen von Schweinen, Rindern, Hühnern, vergasen Küken und lassen uns unser Schnitzel schmecken. Und das darf uns nicht leid tun, denn oh weh, wir gingen zugrunde an diesem Trauma, wenn wir dieses mitverschuldete Leid tatsächlich an uns heranließen. Also schweigen wir, uns selbst gegenüber vornehmlich, und spenden für ein paar Löwen und Pandas weit weg in der Welt.
...
Ich verstehe es nicht.
Kannst du es mir erklären?
Warum ist es so viel einfacher, Schuld zuzuweisen einem Einzelnen, anstatt unser eigenes Gewissen zu erforschen?
Am 20. Juni dieses Jahres fand in Graz eine "Amokfahrt" statt. Ein Mann wütete in der Innenstadt, tötete mehrere und verletzte viele Menschen. Wir alle waren schockiert, ohnmächtig überrascht ob dieses Unglücks. Es wurden Kerzen angezündet, es wurde getrauert um die Opfer, die Menschen, die nun nicht mehr da waren. Wir haben unsere Betroffenheit entdeckt. Graz trauerte, so titelten es alle Medien.
Ich bin selber Grazer. Ich liebe diese Stadt. Ich habe an diesem Tag niemanden verloren, der mir nahe war. Ich kann zutiefst verstehen, dass dieses Attentat eine Wunde aufgekratzt hat. Und trotzdem musste ich diese Trauerphase der ganzen Stadt mit einem galligen Gefühl im Munde erleben.
Denn, auf der Welt sterben viele Menschen, jeden Tag, an den banalsten Dingen. An Krankheiten, die bei uns längst vergessen sind, an Hunger, an Einsamkeit womöglich. Aber diese Tode haben keine Qualität für uns, sie sind zu abstrakt, sie berühren uns nicht. Sie dürfen uns gar nicht berühren, denn sie sind verschuldet durch ein System, an dem wir - schuldlos - partizipieren. Denn wir können auch nichts dafür, dass wir hier geboren sind, dass es uns gut geht. Aber irgendwo in unsrem Innersten wissen wir, dass hier etwas schief läuft, und das macht uns Angst.
Die Amokfahrt macht uns auch Angst, aber es ist eine direkte Furcht vor einzelnen Wahnsinnigen. Es gibt kein diffuses Gefühl, dass man vielleicht selbst, wenigstens passiv, Mitschuld tragen könnte am Unglück.
Aber wäre es nicht schön, wenn wir unsere Empathie nicht nur dann entdecken würden, wenn die Menschen vor unserer Türschwelle sterben, sondern auch dann, wenn es weit weg geschieht? Denn wir leben in einem Zeitalter, in dem man sich informieren kann. Nicht muss; Ignoranz ist ein guter Ratgeber, um den Wahnsinn dieser Welt zu ertragen.
Nicht muss. Aber kann.
...
Ich verstehe es nicht.
Warum tun die Menschen böse Dinge, selbst wenn sie Gutes bewirken wollen? Warum denken sie nicht etwas weiter über die Schwelle ihres Horizonts hinaus?
In verschiedenen Städten, unter anderem auch in Graz, kann man für ärmere Menschen Essen oder Trinken vorbezahlen, z.B. einen Kebap, den diese sich sonst nicht leisten könnten. Was für eine nette Geste, möchte ich sagen. Aber so einfach ist das nicht. Denn die Produktion dieses Kebaps verursacht viel mehr menschliches als auch tierisches Leid auf der ganzen Welt. Unmittelbar leidet das Tier, welches unter erbärmlichen Bedingungen vor sich hin vegetiert, mittelbar leiden Menschen, z.B. durch die Rodung von (Regen-)Wäldern, die zuvor noch ihr Zuhause waren, um Soja zur Fütterung der Massentierhaltung anzubauen. Oder durch den exorbitanten Wasserverbauch, der bei der Produktion von Fleisch anfällt.
Und das alles, damit ein armer Mensch in Österreich (der alleine dadurch, dass er hier lebt, trotzdem zu den reichsten der ganzen Welt gehört) einen Kebap essen kann.
...
Ich verstehe es nicht.
Warum lügen die Menschen, nicht nur anderen gegenüber, sondern vor allem zu sich selbst? Warum neiden sie jenen ihr kleines Leben, die ohnehin schon nichts besitzen, und erfinden Zahlen und falsche Tatsachen?
Europa hat gerade die Problematik von globalen Flüchtlingsströmungen zu bewältigen. Immer wieder tauchen Berichte auf, vornehmlich im Internet, die mit fingierten Zahlen und angeblichen Wahrheiten doch nur Unwahrheit verbreiten. Ursache und Wirkung werden verwechselt, kleine Details zu empörenden Szenarien aufgebauscht. Warum besitzt der Flüchtling eigentlich ein Smartphone? Das darf der doch gar nicht. Er hat gefälligst nichts zu besitzen, wenn er sich schon anmaßt, hier in unser gelobtes Land „einzureisen“.
Im Gegensatz zum Flüchtling besitzen wir oft nicht nur ein Smartphone, sondern dazu noch ein Tablet und Notebook und am besten noch zehn andere Sachen. Wenn man aber auf der Flucht ist, im Taumel zwischen Krieg & Vertreibung Länder überqueren muss und getrennt ist von seinen Lieben, dann ist ein Smartphone mit Internetzugang plötzlich kein Luxusgut mehr, sondern eine Quelle, um nicht verloren zu gehen in all dem grausigen Treiben. Aber wir neiden es ihnen, diesen – es sind ja ganz ganz sicher zuhauf – Sozialschmarotzern, Wirtschaftsflüchtlingen.
Was heißt dieses Wort eigentlich? Wer sind denn die wahren Schmarotzer? Vielleicht doch wir selbst, die wir für €3,99 unsere T-Shirts kaufen aus Bangladesch oder China und uns dann beschweren, wenn die Leute von dort zu uns kommen, um sich nicht länger ausbeuten zu lassen? Sind nicht wir die größten Sozialschmarotzer in diesem globalen Spiel des Strebens nach Wohlstand?
...
Ich verstehe es nicht.
Warum ist es so viel einfacher, Anteil zu nehmen am Leid eines einzelnen Geschöpfes, als am Leid vieler?
Vor Kurzem wurde ein Löwe getötet, Cecil. Er hat sogar einen Vornamen. Es schmerzt uns zutiefst, was mit ihm geschehen ist, und dieses Monstrum, dieser Unmensch, der ihn getötet hat, muss dafür zur Rechenschaft gezogen werden.
Und warum? Weil wir nicht daran schuld sind. Weil wir unsere ganze Wut auf diesen Mann projizieren können, denn wir haben den Löwen nicht getötet. Nein, wir töten nicht einen Löwen, wir töten nur Millionen von Schweinen, Rindern, Hühnern, vergasen Küken und lassen uns unser Schnitzel schmecken. Und das darf uns nicht leid tun, denn oh weh, wir gingen zugrunde an diesem Trauma, wenn wir dieses mitverschuldete Leid tatsächlich an uns heranließen. Also schweigen wir, uns selbst gegenüber vornehmlich, und spenden für ein paar Löwen und Pandas weit weg in der Welt.
...
Ich verstehe es nicht.
Kannst du es mir erklären?
Photographer. Writer. Idealist. Pseudo-intellectual observing and criticizing society.
I'm a bit shy, but very funny and open-min...- oh well, fuck that shit.
I'm human.
A struggling animal being consisting of various contradicting idiosyncrasies. Fearless, open-minded and awesome from time to time; lonely, insecure and trembling likewise. A whole-hearted person embracing emotionality on a profound level of existence.
I crave authenticity in life, in people. Something real, something beneath our societal masks and shells fed by fear of disconnection.
Wednesday, October 14, 2015
On education and life
Modern society likes to highlight the importance of education. In theory, at least, or more precisely: in the sense of specialised knowledge in all kinds of academic fields. Science has become a vital force, alongside with the humanities gaining higher reputation every day. There seems to be one specific field however which isn't viewed as something to be taught in a decided manner in school or university: life itself.
With life itself, I refer to all the things everybody does and no one wants to talk about, at least not publicly or outside an academic framework I should say.
Friendship. Love. Heartbreak. Budget keeping. Living with rommates, coping with family disputes. Anxiety. Shame. (In)Security. You see where this is going? Education lacks a philosophical guideline on how to actually live 'properly'.
These topics, on a sensitive level, are not embedded in some curriculum, they are implicitly expected to be "learned", comprehended via actually experiencing them. Which may appear as a reasonable approach, after all there's so much to be learned about elaborated know-how only teachers can explain that these sorts of things belong to mothers and fathers, they ought to be discussed among families and friends, not in the classroom. And after all, that's private stuff, why would I want to discuss such things in public?
I'm not convinced by this approach, for various reasons.
1) No one has a clue what they're doing.
I'm a big fan of the enlightenment, don't get me wrong. Freedom of the mind, democrazy, rationality paired with philosophy and art, sapere aude - great great, wonderful stuff, love it. I however resent this notion of the 18th century that humans are on a fundamental level rational, reasonable beings who, when educated in the right manner, know who they are and what they're doing with solid certainty. Modern findings in fields like neurobiology, psychology or the social studies in general show us that this is far from the truth. We are moody due to our hormonal balance, we unconsciously act on primitive instincts, we may have knowledge about something and still act against it based on an emotional impulse etc. etc.
On a scale from Neanderthal to homo sapiens, we are some kind of fearful ape struggling with existential problems on a daily basis. And even more problematic, these issues are handed down to us by a tradition of not dealing with them. Family history often marks the birthplace for many mental problems simply for the reason everyone's too ashamed to talk freely about them. This ranges from lesser troubles like weight problems to denial of family violence. ("What, no, of course my ancestors were against slavery/nazis/colonization/the thing which is evil now!")
2) We are alone.
Lonely too, sadly. When people try - really try - to understand themselves as well as others, they often realize that this story of stepping in another one's footsteps is quite the tough task. Everyone has his/her own imagination of reality, based on biological differences, social constructs, personal experiences. One can never understand another person to the core. Which isn't even necessary, there lies a much bigger problem at hand. Many people in "modern", industrial countries lack deep friendships or deep relationships with other humans in general. A 2012 poll from BBC attested one quarter to one third of all Londoners chronic loneliness.1 We often have no one to talk to which poses a crucial threat because ...
3) ... "pain demands to be felt."2
Society tends to emphasize 'the bright side of life'. We're told not to worry and be happy instead, to stand up for ourselves and live life to the fullest. Well guess what, it's not that easy, and no one actually believes it to be. How many people can say that they love themselves unconditionally (which, as modern social science proclaims, is an essential ability to be compassionate and empathetic)? How many people can say that they don't suffer from feelings of shame, misunderstanding or personal inadequacies? (Not many I hope since those feelings are proof you're not a sociopath.) How many people can say that they have a functioning and loving family life?
Do you have someone in your life with whom you can share the dark things lurking under the mask you put on for others? The people who lack that special someone are faced with the problem of coping with life unable to address their existential problems, which leads to many dangerous outcomes, one being addiction, in a broad sense. Addiction can be seen as chronical numbing, occuring in many facets. Alcoholic disease, eating disorders, drug abuse, binge-watching, compulsive gambling ... The point is: Due to lack of social connection, we numb our problems thus threatening the health of our psyche. Unexpressed issues flourish on not being expressed, they thrive on secrecy.
For all these reasons, I firmly believe in a necessary paradigm shift concerning our approach as a society in general to deal with existential3 problems of humankind. We are biologically hardwired for connection, we are higher mammals with an elaborated sense for social interactions. If we raised a new generation with a mindset enabling them to speak freely about things today deemed as 'personal matter only' and an educational system supporting this mindset, I believe we could become a truly open-minded, compassionate species. Bigger problems beyond our personal scope would also benefit from this approach as we could deal with them more focussedly. If there lurks an unsolved chaos inside of you, you can never concern yourself with climate change fully devoted to the cause.
Clarification: I'm not saying you're obliged to tell every stranger your deepest secrets or break down crying in front of your boss because you've experienced impotence last night. BUT, a big fat but, I think we should live in a societal arrangement where it would be deeply understandable if you did so. An environment in which vulnerabilty and honesty would not be seen as some sort of weakness, rather as strength and courage.
To conclude: It's not like we'd have to invent a totally new realm of thought for these changes to happen. Thousands of years ago, humans have developed a lovely thing called philosophy. While being present at all times and underlaying every society, philosophy throughout history tends to appear somewhat washy and blurry between religious, economic and scientific developments. I believe we should pay more attention to it. Despite all the fancy indiviualism nowadays, humans need guidelines, we long for narratives to locate ourselves in this big, messy world we happen to exist in.
So why not share our stories?
With life itself, I refer to all the things everybody does and no one wants to talk about, at least not publicly or outside an academic framework I should say.
Friendship. Love. Heartbreak. Budget keeping. Living with rommates, coping with family disputes. Anxiety. Shame. (In)Security. You see where this is going? Education lacks a philosophical guideline on how to actually live 'properly'.
These topics, on a sensitive level, are not embedded in some curriculum, they are implicitly expected to be "learned", comprehended via actually experiencing them. Which may appear as a reasonable approach, after all there's so much to be learned about elaborated know-how only teachers can explain that these sorts of things belong to mothers and fathers, they ought to be discussed among families and friends, not in the classroom. And after all, that's private stuff, why would I want to discuss such things in public?
I'm not convinced by this approach, for various reasons.
1) No one has a clue what they're doing.
I'm a big fan of the enlightenment, don't get me wrong. Freedom of the mind, democrazy, rationality paired with philosophy and art, sapere aude - great great, wonderful stuff, love it. I however resent this notion of the 18th century that humans are on a fundamental level rational, reasonable beings who, when educated in the right manner, know who they are and what they're doing with solid certainty. Modern findings in fields like neurobiology, psychology or the social studies in general show us that this is far from the truth. We are moody due to our hormonal balance, we unconsciously act on primitive instincts, we may have knowledge about something and still act against it based on an emotional impulse etc. etc.
On a scale from Neanderthal to homo sapiens, we are some kind of fearful ape struggling with existential problems on a daily basis. And even more problematic, these issues are handed down to us by a tradition of not dealing with them. Family history often marks the birthplace for many mental problems simply for the reason everyone's too ashamed to talk freely about them. This ranges from lesser troubles like weight problems to denial of family violence. ("What, no, of course my ancestors were against slavery/nazis/colonization/the thing which is evil now!")
2) We are alone.
Lonely too, sadly. When people try - really try - to understand themselves as well as others, they often realize that this story of stepping in another one's footsteps is quite the tough task. Everyone has his/her own imagination of reality, based on biological differences, social constructs, personal experiences. One can never understand another person to the core. Which isn't even necessary, there lies a much bigger problem at hand. Many people in "modern", industrial countries lack deep friendships or deep relationships with other humans in general. A 2012 poll from BBC attested one quarter to one third of all Londoners chronic loneliness.1 We often have no one to talk to which poses a crucial threat because ...
3) ... "pain demands to be felt."2
Society tends to emphasize 'the bright side of life'. We're told not to worry and be happy instead, to stand up for ourselves and live life to the fullest. Well guess what, it's not that easy, and no one actually believes it to be. How many people can say that they love themselves unconditionally (which, as modern social science proclaims, is an essential ability to be compassionate and empathetic)? How many people can say that they don't suffer from feelings of shame, misunderstanding or personal inadequacies? (Not many I hope since those feelings are proof you're not a sociopath.) How many people can say that they have a functioning and loving family life?
Do you have someone in your life with whom you can share the dark things lurking under the mask you put on for others? The people who lack that special someone are faced with the problem of coping with life unable to address their existential problems, which leads to many dangerous outcomes, one being addiction, in a broad sense. Addiction can be seen as chronical numbing, occuring in many facets. Alcoholic disease, eating disorders, drug abuse, binge-watching, compulsive gambling ... The point is: Due to lack of social connection, we numb our problems thus threatening the health of our psyche. Unexpressed issues flourish on not being expressed, they thrive on secrecy.
For all these reasons, I firmly believe in a necessary paradigm shift concerning our approach as a society in general to deal with existential3 problems of humankind. We are biologically hardwired for connection, we are higher mammals with an elaborated sense for social interactions. If we raised a new generation with a mindset enabling them to speak freely about things today deemed as 'personal matter only' and an educational system supporting this mindset, I believe we could become a truly open-minded, compassionate species. Bigger problems beyond our personal scope would also benefit from this approach as we could deal with them more focussedly. If there lurks an unsolved chaos inside of you, you can never concern yourself with climate change fully devoted to the cause.
Clarification: I'm not saying you're obliged to tell every stranger your deepest secrets or break down crying in front of your boss because you've experienced impotence last night. BUT, a big fat but, I think we should live in a societal arrangement where it would be deeply understandable if you did so. An environment in which vulnerabilty and honesty would not be seen as some sort of weakness, rather as strength and courage.
To conclude: It's not like we'd have to invent a totally new realm of thought for these changes to happen. Thousands of years ago, humans have developed a lovely thing called philosophy. While being present at all times and underlaying every society, philosophy throughout history tends to appear somewhat washy and blurry between religious, economic and scientific developments. I believe we should pay more attention to it. Despite all the fancy indiviualism nowadays, humans need guidelines, we long for narratives to locate ourselves in this big, messy world we happen to exist in.
So why not share our stories?
1
2 Quote from "The Fault in Our Stars" by John Green
2 Quote from "The Fault in Our Stars" by John Green
3 Yeah, I like that word.
Photographer. Writer. Idealist. Pseudo-intellectual observing and criticizing society.
I'm a bit shy, but very funny and open-min...- oh well, fuck that shit.
I'm human.
A struggling animal being consisting of various contradicting idiosyncrasies. Fearless, open-minded and awesome from time to time; lonely, insecure and trembling likewise. A whole-hearted person embracing emotionality on a profound level of existence.
I crave authenticity in life, in people. Something real, something beneath our societal masks and shells fed by fear of disconnection.
Sunday, October 4, 2015
On the problem of expressing oneself
"Tell me something about you!"
One small sentence and I already managed to make a lot of you cringe. Speaking up in front of an audience, introducing yourself to your new colleagues, writing a self-summary on a dating platform - all those examples circulate around the task of communicating your very self to other humans; a problem for many, but why? Does it have to be one?
Short answer: No. And yes, but for the right reasons.
We live in a complicated, complex world. The Industrial and Digital Revolution have shaped our understanding of society, economy, science - pretty much everything so to speak - in a way profoundly different to former (r)evolutions. They redefined the cosmic principle we learned to call "time". For the past ten thousands of years of human development, everything has been going on somewhat smoothly, at reasonable pace. This is when haste appeared on the table. We learned to do more in less time, much more in fact, so much that I would argue our internal clocks could not follow up with the external, exponential growth of industry and societal complexity. Individual freedom marks one of the core elements of the latter. Were you born in let's say the 15th century and your father was a mason, chances were high you'd become the same, given you were a boy. As for girls, well ... there's always housework to be done.
With little to no education and lack of social mobility, it was somehow easy to locate oneself's role in society. You had your family, your estate (clergy, nobility, commoners), your profession handed down to you by tradition, a fixed belief system and so on. The very concept of individual development and reflected self-awareness, to some extent even among the wealthier, is actually not that old, nonetheless deemed as an important - if not essential - value in our modern society. Today's question is not how many angels can fit on a needle but rather how many books can be sold telling people what the meaning of life is.
Freedom comes at a price, they say. This price boils down to what can be described as: uncertainty. With everything being possible, there's plenty to go wrong.
And boy, does it. Climate change, mass extinction, wars initiated to fight for resources, starvation - you name it. With all these big and apparent problems at hand, our own, personal issues seem so little, ridiculous even. I believe that's one part of the problem. We have become afraid of taking ourselves seriously if we lead a more or less normal (which translates to 'insignificant') life, thus remaining silent rather than talking strongly about our passions, our fears and hopes. Who am I really to tell you something? I'm just trying to get by, study here or work there, nothing interesting. It's not like I'm doing anything special.
Well, with such mindset beforehand, you are right, you do not sound very interesting. That however is not due to your intrinsical boring nature, it's due to your attitude of looking at yourself with superficial sunglasses being afraid of diving into your own mind in depth.
Every person, every crazy artist, App-Store CEO, bus driver, teacher, librarian or butcher - we all lead very different lives, but at our core, at the essence of our human nature, we strive for the same things. We want to do something fulfilling, we want to be seen for who we really are, we want security and adventure likewise, we want to be happy and find the meaning of life (not that anybody would have a clue on getting there despite reciting this one movie with the robot). We won't get there with superficial conversations, that's for sure. Most of the time we seem to be too afraid to let ourselves be seen by others. Maybe, just maybe, if we knew them very well and for a long time, we'd dare to share something vulnerable with them - but with new people, strangers? No way, what if they don't like or understand us? Staying under the radar, reserved, appears as the best way to protect ourselves from getting hurt by shame or misunderstanding.
But what if ...? What if we dared a little more in everyday life? When an acquaintance sees us in the tram and asks "How are you?", why answer with a fake smile and an ever so trite "Oh, everything's fine, how are you?" instead of gathering the courage to tell what (if so) really lurks under that mask we like to put on? You'd be surprised on how often people will respond with the same will to share something authentic with you, or at least not be repelled by this outbreak of vulnerable honesty, rather touched by the courage pounding toward them.
Alright, fluffy-duffy talk aside, even if you've mustered the courage to express yourself, what now if you still don't really know what to say because you're not so sure who and how you actually are?
As far as we know, humans are the most complex and intelligent life-form in the universe (not opting for speciecism by the way, that's just a matter of fact). We try to understand ourselves, but we're not even close to the full picture. Neuroscience, Psychobiology etc. are just getting started on unraveling the brain and the mind. It's ok to be confused. And even more so to express this very confusion, share the sorrows. Thinking about what to do with your life, coping with heartbreak, supporting friends in deep suffering, loving someone, trying to love yourself - those are all sensitive issues, not having a straightforward way to deal with such things is actually shockingly normal.
And that's the exact reason why this inherent uncertainty of existence should not make you feel miserable and left alone. Because, we are all experiencing these problems, everyone fears, everyone suffers, albeit in fairly diverse facets. Often, the importance of showing up should not lie in the hope of being understood very well but rather in the act of opening up itself. Aiming for the goal of getting definite answeres will probably leave you unsatisfied as it is, in depth, really hard to step in another one's footsteps. Empathy is not our default mode. In struggling times however, the most powerful reaction need not be a solution, a simple 'Me too. I have no idea what to do!' can make all the difference as it reminds us that we have not been singled out, that our suffering, when being stripped from the specifics, is a universal experience rather than sole misery.
Everyone's crooked. We all struggle. To be human is to consist of various contradicting idiosyncrasies all woven together to form the very YOU.
So, by all means, don't be ashamed of who you are. Embrace this stardusty bundle of chaos you represent and meet life's adventures wholeheartedly, with compassion and gratitude. Stand up for your beliefs, or, by lack of, try to find something which brings you meaning and fulfillment. Cherish the bright side of life, contemplate without anger on sadness and grief. Find a balance to thrive in, and let yourself be seen by the world around you. Don't count on winning all the time; failure is as inherent as achievement, life is not fair. Just do it, daring ever so greatly.
One small sentence and I already managed to make a lot of you cringe. Speaking up in front of an audience, introducing yourself to your new colleagues, writing a self-summary on a dating platform - all those examples circulate around the task of communicating your very self to other humans; a problem for many, but why? Does it have to be one?
Short answer: No. And yes, but for the right reasons.
We live in a complicated, complex world. The Industrial and Digital Revolution have shaped our understanding of society, economy, science - pretty much everything so to speak - in a way profoundly different to former (r)evolutions. They redefined the cosmic principle we learned to call "time". For the past ten thousands of years of human development, everything has been going on somewhat smoothly, at reasonable pace. This is when haste appeared on the table. We learned to do more in less time, much more in fact, so much that I would argue our internal clocks could not follow up with the external, exponential growth of industry and societal complexity. Individual freedom marks one of the core elements of the latter. Were you born in let's say the 15th century and your father was a mason, chances were high you'd become the same, given you were a boy. As for girls, well ... there's always housework to be done.
With little to no education and lack of social mobility, it was somehow easy to locate oneself's role in society. You had your family, your estate (clergy, nobility, commoners), your profession handed down to you by tradition, a fixed belief system and so on. The very concept of individual development and reflected self-awareness, to some extent even among the wealthier, is actually not that old, nonetheless deemed as an important - if not essential - value in our modern society. Today's question is not how many angels can fit on a needle but rather how many books can be sold telling people what the meaning of life is.
Freedom comes at a price, they say. This price boils down to what can be described as: uncertainty. With everything being possible, there's plenty to go wrong.
And boy, does it. Climate change, mass extinction, wars initiated to fight for resources, starvation - you name it. With all these big and apparent problems at hand, our own, personal issues seem so little, ridiculous even. I believe that's one part of the problem. We have become afraid of taking ourselves seriously if we lead a more or less normal (which translates to 'insignificant') life, thus remaining silent rather than talking strongly about our passions, our fears and hopes. Who am I really to tell you something? I'm just trying to get by, study here or work there, nothing interesting. It's not like I'm doing anything special.
Well, with such mindset beforehand, you are right, you do not sound very interesting. That however is not due to your intrinsical boring nature, it's due to your attitude of looking at yourself with superficial sunglasses being afraid of diving into your own mind in depth.
Every person, every crazy artist, App-Store CEO, bus driver, teacher, librarian or butcher - we all lead very different lives, but at our core, at the essence of our human nature, we strive for the same things. We want to do something fulfilling, we want to be seen for who we really are, we want security and adventure likewise, we want to be happy and find the meaning of life (not that anybody would have a clue on getting there despite reciting this one movie with the robot). We won't get there with superficial conversations, that's for sure. Most of the time we seem to be too afraid to let ourselves be seen by others. Maybe, just maybe, if we knew them very well and for a long time, we'd dare to share something vulnerable with them - but with new people, strangers? No way, what if they don't like or understand us? Staying under the radar, reserved, appears as the best way to protect ourselves from getting hurt by shame or misunderstanding.
But what if ...? What if we dared a little more in everyday life? When an acquaintance sees us in the tram and asks "How are you?", why answer with a fake smile and an ever so trite "Oh, everything's fine, how are you?" instead of gathering the courage to tell what (if so) really lurks under that mask we like to put on? You'd be surprised on how often people will respond with the same will to share something authentic with you, or at least not be repelled by this outbreak of vulnerable honesty, rather touched by the courage pounding toward them.
Alright, fluffy-duffy talk aside, even if you've mustered the courage to express yourself, what now if you still don't really know what to say because you're not so sure who and how you actually are?
As far as we know, humans are the most complex and intelligent life-form in the universe (not opting for speciecism by the way, that's just a matter of fact). We try to understand ourselves, but we're not even close to the full picture. Neuroscience, Psychobiology etc. are just getting started on unraveling the brain and the mind. It's ok to be confused. And even more so to express this very confusion, share the sorrows. Thinking about what to do with your life, coping with heartbreak, supporting friends in deep suffering, loving someone, trying to love yourself - those are all sensitive issues, not having a straightforward way to deal with such things is actually shockingly normal.
And that's the exact reason why this inherent uncertainty of existence should not make you feel miserable and left alone. Because, we are all experiencing these problems, everyone fears, everyone suffers, albeit in fairly diverse facets. Often, the importance of showing up should not lie in the hope of being understood very well but rather in the act of opening up itself. Aiming for the goal of getting definite answeres will probably leave you unsatisfied as it is, in depth, really hard to step in another one's footsteps. Empathy is not our default mode. In struggling times however, the most powerful reaction need not be a solution, a simple 'Me too. I have no idea what to do!' can make all the difference as it reminds us that we have not been singled out, that our suffering, when being stripped from the specifics, is a universal experience rather than sole misery.
Everyone's crooked. We all struggle. To be human is to consist of various contradicting idiosyncrasies all woven together to form the very YOU.
So, by all means, don't be ashamed of who you are. Embrace this stardusty bundle of chaos you represent and meet life's adventures wholeheartedly, with compassion and gratitude. Stand up for your beliefs, or, by lack of, try to find something which brings you meaning and fulfillment. Cherish the bright side of life, contemplate without anger on sadness and grief. Find a balance to thrive in, and let yourself be seen by the world around you. Don't count on winning all the time; failure is as inherent as achievement, life is not fair. Just do it, daring ever so greatly.
Photographer. Writer. Idealist. Pseudo-intellectual observing and criticizing society.
I'm a bit shy, but very funny and open-min...- oh well, fuck that shit.
I'm human.
A struggling animal being consisting of various contradicting idiosyncrasies. Fearless, open-minded and awesome from time to time; lonely, insecure and trembling likewise. A whole-hearted person embracing emotionality on a profound level of existence.
I crave authenticity in life, in people. Something real, something beneath our societal masks and shells fed by fear of disconnection.
On Feeling Melancholy
This is one tragic world, carrying a shadowed face with faintly eyes through empty nothingness. No meaning is to be extracted from the void beyond the sky, no truth awaits the sailor on his lonely journey toward the end of endings. A glimpse of misery, everlasting in the eye of the beholder, arises on the mind's horizon. Yet misery shall not be to solemnly remain, gazing at a broken universe. There lies a deeper wisdom within suffering than blunt despair.
The knowledge of the melancholy notion is to comprehend what we're not likely to concede. That life's, alas, unfair, inherently opposed to the idea of just divison. From this perspective, misery seems sound to dwell upon, yet is the path afore you split; one leading into empty, ample darkness, one lighting up a spark in all-consuming gloom. This spark goes by the very name of hope, which, if nothing else, yields nourishment for our soul's so fragile sanity.
And therein lies the melancholy wisdom: That, in all those unfair facets of existence, it's never sinister enough to tear the light apart. Our will precedes the darkness, our will to be aware is what shapes these sparks of light. As they break through the shell, they recognize, reflecting on each other. Bonding. Speaking.
You are not alone. Your suffering is not to be endured solely, much more shared among us all. Sorrow's universal, it belongs to every creature, rendering the suffocation felt beforehand mute.
Compassion grows as you let the wisdom of the melancholy notion flourish. Anger fades away, dissipates alongside misery and desperation. Mere sadness is what will reside; as fundamental as the waves on their eternal journey towards death and renaissance, it cannot vanish, should not even. Sadness creates meaning for mirth and cheerfulness, merging serendipity into their fabric.
This is one tragic world, carrying a shadowed face with faintly eyes through almost empty nothingness.
Almost.
And therein lies the melancholy wisdom: That, in all those unfair facets of existence, it's never sinister enough to tear the light apart. Our will precedes the darkness, our will to be aware is what shapes these sparks of light. As they break through the shell, they recognize, reflecting on each other. Bonding. Speaking.
You are not alone. Your suffering is not to be endured solely, much more shared among us all. Sorrow's universal, it belongs to every creature, rendering the suffocation felt beforehand mute.
Compassion grows as you let the wisdom of the melancholy notion flourish. Anger fades away, dissipates alongside misery and desperation. Mere sadness is what will reside; as fundamental as the waves on their eternal journey towards death and renaissance, it cannot vanish, should not even. Sadness creates meaning for mirth and cheerfulness, merging serendipity into their fabric.
This is one tragic world, carrying a shadowed face with faintly eyes through almost empty nothingness.
Almost.
Photographer. Writer. Idealist. Pseudo-intellectual observing and criticizing society.
I'm a bit shy, but very funny and open-min...- oh well, fuck that shit.
I'm human.
A struggling animal being consisting of various contradicting idiosyncrasies. Fearless, open-minded and awesome from time to time; lonely, insecure and trembling likewise. A whole-hearted person embracing emotionality on a profound level of existence.
I crave authenticity in life, in people. Something real, something beneath our societal masks and shells fed by fear of disconnection.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)