Das System

Wenn es ein paar böse alte Männer in einem finsteren Hinterzimmer wären, dann wäre die Lage gut. Dann könnten wir James Bond dort hinschicken und das Böse bezwingen. 
Aber so ist es nicht. Der Kampf richtet sich nicht gegen ein paar böse Ausreißer am Ende der Welt, sondern gegen ungesteuerte, sich selbst erhaltende Ideologien. Und diese stecken in jedem von uns. Wir können entscheiden, ob wir uns willfährig von unserer eigenen Ignoranz kontrollieren lassen wollen, oder ob wir unser Leben in die Hand nehmen und selbstbestimmt der Fremdbestimmung ins Auge blicken.
Wir kommen auf die Welt und sind unmittelbar verstrickt in einem engmaschigen Netz verschiedener Glaubenssysteme, die kaum je ein direktes, rückführbares Ziel haben. Es sind kopflose Sklavenhalter, Viren, deren einziger Zweck in ihrer bloßen Existenz besteht.

1)
Wir erlernen Verhaltensweisen von unserer Umgebung, den uns nahestehenden Menschen. Wie bewege ich mich, was sage ich zu wem, was und wen esse ich, was und wen nicht, wer ist mir suspekt und wem schenke ich vorschüssiges Vertrauen, wie kleide ich mich, ...? Das WARUM bleibt meistens unter Verschluss, da unsere Mitmenschen darauf selbst keine Antworten kennen (wenn wir denn nur fragen würden). Wenn mehrere Bausteine zusammenfallen, werden wir früher oder später manches schon hinterfragen, dieses Hinterfragen aber hat meist kein System, es ergibt sich aus Zufall.

2)
Wir lesen/schauen/hören die Nachrichten und glauben selbst als kritischer Geist viel zu vieles viel zu schnell. Nachrichten konstruieren unser Weltbild, sie geben uns Informationen über zahllose Begebenheiten, die mit unserem persönlichen Leben nichts zu tun haben. Als selbstbestimmter Konsument ist es an uns, die Mechanismen und Ziele von Medien, die uns Informationen liefern, zu erlernen, zu verstehen und für eine gedeihende Evolution des Geistes produktiv zu interpretieren.


3)
Wir glauben an unsere Einzigartigkeit und vertrauen der inhärenten Logik unseres Gehirns. Es macht schon Sinn, warum soll ich darüber diskutieren mit einem anderen Gehirn? Wir sind so elendig provinziell inmitten all der Globalisierung und merken nicht, welches Volumen an Lebendigkeit im Austausch mit anderen steckt.

zu 1)
Wann habe ich entschieden, "dass man das nicht macht"? Dass es unhöflich ist zu widersprechen, dass es höflich ist, andere nicht mit sich zu belästigen, dass ich mich für natürliche körperliche Vorgänge zu schämen und diese zu verstecken habe, dass mein Aussehen/Gewicht auch nur irgendeine Relevanz besitzt für Fremde, dass ...?Wann habe ich als Kind beschlossen, nur mehr Hunde und Katzen süß zu finden und alle anderen Tiere zu essen? In welchem Alter verstarb die Empathie, die zuvor noch grenzenlos war, als ich ganz naiv dahinlebte und keinen Unterschied erkannte, wo auch kein Unterschied ist, wo nur andere mir einen Unterschied eingebläut haben, um die Abstumpfung zulassen zu können? Wo ich gelernt habe, welche Art von bewusstem, und, bis auf ökonomische Gesichtspunkte, unnötigem Töten in Ordnung ist?

zu 2)
Wie viele Menschen kenne ich eigentlich etwas besser als 'Guten Morgen, ein Weckerl bitte'? 20, 50, 100, 1000? Wie viele Orte dieser Welt habe ich selbst gesehen? Und was glaube ich nicht alles über Millionen von anderen Menschen und Orten, weil es in schwarzen Buchstaben auf ebenem Untergrund gekritzelt ist? Wo ist die persönliche Neugier, wo der externe Zensor? Wem habe ich erlaubt, meine persönlichen Empfindungen per "objektivem" Bericht zu aktivieren? Objektiv, was für ein pervertiertes Wort.


zu 3)
Wie komme ich dazu, alles auszublenden und dem lächerlichen Konstrukt der eigenen Erfahrung unbeirrbaren Stellenwert beizumessen? Von einer einzigen persönlichen Erfahrung auf die Gesamtheit der Prozesse zu schließen, welche diese Welt weben; von einzigartigen Erfahrungen Schlüsse über andere Menschen in anderen Situationen zu ziehen?

Me, or: What it's like to be human [Part II]

[Click here for Part I]

[Click here for Part III]

This is an abstract of my (emotional) biography.

Name’s Nicolas Pleasure Galani. Oh yeah. My second first name derives from my parents’ (Austrian and Indian descent) wish to give me an internationally, eh, ‘applicable’ name. For the people who are interested in India: Nope, sorry, can’t tell you anything about it in particular. My parents got divorced when I was about 4 years old, I barely know my father, chiefly through short visits during the first years after the divorce. My mother and I moved from Vienna to my grandparents’ house in the countryside (Aflenz Land). Shortly after, she found a new job in Bruck an der Mur which made her absent almost all day for several months. I am telling you this because it – maybe – marks the reason for one of my key character traits today, which is: bringing people together and trying to establish loving, lasting relationships between others as well as between others and me.

After elementary school, my mother and I moved to Kapfenberg, where I lived for the next 8 years of my life (I went to school at the Bruck/Mur Gymnasium). After graduating, I moved to Graz (where I’ve been living for 3 years now), whereas my mother moved back to Vienna.

As far as I construct the image of my past from today’s perspective, my life truly began in Graz. Why? Because, over the course of Gymnasium (well, it had probably started earlier), I became an extremely shy and introverted [note: this is not necessarily correlated] person on the inside. On the outside, this shifting behavior (my mother and others describe me as a quite lively young kid), manifested itself by obesity, which was symptomatic for my somewhat depressive mood over this really long time. Due to my extreme shyness stemming from self-loathing, it was very hard for me to connect with others and therefore with the world in general. I had great luck finding two friends in my class with whom I am still very close today; otherwise, I guess I wouldn’t have made it (yes, that is a euphemism for suicide). However, it actually took me very long to realize what’s going on with my life, meaning that I successfully hid myself from my sight. I was quite good at telling myself that I simply enjoy being alone and that it is super okay to stay at home the whole day, reading books, playing games, and that seeing the people in my class every day is more than enough social interaction. It took me until I was around 17/18 to realize that my life couldn’t possibly go on like that, staying under the radar, passive, while gaining more and more weight the whole time. I cannot fathom what had caused it, but at some point, the illusion in which I had existed burst, and I had to come to terms with what was going on here. At first, this realization made me even more depressed than before as I had to confront myself with my feelings on a core level and the truth of my existential loneliness. Yet, I refused to just acknowledge my misery. I didn’t intend to continue my life like this. I needed change, fundamental change. I tried to point out to myself as clearly as possible what was going on, from where I was coming, where I wanted to be, and how I could get there.

First step was to find new friends (which translates to: opening up and learning to talk to people) as well as deepening the few friendships I already had. To achieve that, I moved in a flatshare when I moved to Graz although I was well aware that I really like to live alone. This was the first of many awkward, painful situations I intentionally threw myself into. I had to do this to overcome my fears. I hated it more than often, but it was the only way to grow as a person. I deeply believe the pain you experience when you develop yourself can never be greater than the pain of numbing your emotions and living in a constant state of disappointment. I’d rather taste failure while daring greatly over not feeling anything to prevent pain and standing outside my own life. Fortunately for me, I found a passion in photography during the last year of school. This made it easier to connect with people as photography can be a quite social hobby if you want it to be.

After managing to overcome my shyness in many aspects and finding some friends (not many true, deep friends though), I focussed on losing weight as I really hated how I look and couldn’t accept myself like that. Now, generally speaking, I don’t believe that people should be ashamed of themselves when they don’t meet the current, societal expectations of what is considered ‘normal or healthy weight’, but for me at that time, it simply was necessary to change, as my self-worth was tied to my appearance very strongly. To put it shortly, I lost weight up to a point where I learned to love myself regardless of how I look. Of course, this development of self-love (the crucial part here is: unconditional self-love) didn’t stem from weight loss solely. As time passed by, the overall situation of my life became better, despite many failed actions.

Besides friendship, the other fundamental form of interpersonal connection I craved was romance. Yes, the thing about love, and cuddling, and biting (if you’re into that). I won’t go into great detail here, sufficient to say, this connection was much, much harder for me to achieve than friendship, mostly because I first had to lose my weight and gain my self-loving confidence to even think of approaching another with that intention in mind. Secondly, the first time I really opened up and expressed my feelings to another, it didn’t end well, which, while being the right thing in the long run, caused a period of depression and isolation once again. And since I’m a person who very rarely finds true connection with others (in general), it took me quite a while to learn about intimacy on an actual and not just theoretical, idealistic level. To end this: I’ve found love. And fuck yeah, was it worth the struggle!

I’ll end here and lastly tell you why I am telling you all this personal information. I’m doing it because nothing described above is able to hurt me any longer. I wanted to change, and I did. It was hard, it was excruciating, it cost me a lot, but it worked out in the end. Today, I am a genuinely happy person, I embrace life, I cherish what I have, I know I can improve not only my own life but also that of others (which I’m trying to do on a personal level and on a grander scale through Effective Altruism, ecological literacy, veganism and so on (see Part III)).

All of us struggle, in diverse facets. To struggle is a function of being human. My struggle was primarily an emotional one. Others suffer from war or may be deprived of water and food, others are enslaved, the list goes on. I firmly believe that every kind of struggle is worth and necessary to be taken seriously. I first had to find happiness in my own life to empower myself to help others who are stuck in dire situations. There are many big problems we have to face in this world, but we mustn’t forget ourselves. Egoism can have a positive or negative design; it’s not wrong by default, it’s very essential in fact. You have to appreciate yourself first in order to help others and not get lost on the way.

If there’s anything to take from this post, I hope it is the message of a positive outlook. Life can be fucking hard. Often, external forces suppress us. Often, it is simply ourselves who is the suppressor. Don’t let yourself get in the way of your happiness. 
Think. Accept. Refuse. Change. Love. Be grateful. Practice resilience. Try. Fail. Keep failing. Dare greatly. 
Do it. 
Now.

Me, or: What it's like to be human [Part I]

[Click here for Part II]
[Click here for Part III]

Photographer. Writer. Idealist. Wannabe-intellectual observing and criticizing society. Obsessed with personal growth, as there is nothing more crucial than understanding oneself in order to locate one’s own being in this madness of existence.

I yearn for authenticity. I crave truth in life, in people. Something real, something beneath our societal masks and shells fed by fear of being misunderstood, by resignation, by a hurting soul. I believe we’re here for connection. We are social animals, higher mammals with a deep sense for interpersonal relationships. It’s not about being sociable, it’s about stimulation of the soul’s longing to be understood and overcoming the illusion of our separateness.

In this post, I don’t tell you what kind of food I enjoy, or what cities I’d like to visit; what movies I can watch one hundred times or why my skin is somewhat brownish. What quality does such information have when you've never met me in reality, never had a true conversation with me in depth, about the things which really count? My fears, my joys, the reason why I bother to stand up every single day and throw myself into this messy world around us. 
I know, I’m weird, there’s something wrong with my approach to getting to know people. I want to learn about the deep stuff first and then, later on, enjoy the sweetness of unimportant small-talk. Even worse, I believe I’m absolutely right about that, as I met the most amazing people in my life not by ‘being nice’ and chatty and engaging in shallow talks about this or that, but by being real and showing my true self, with the high chance of being misunderstood, disliked, left alone. And, of course, with the only chance of finding soulmates, finding genuine connection with another soul and being. What’s one hundred superficial acquaintances worth when my soul longs for two or three people with whom I can truly share my all, in all its vulnerability, in all its fractured beauty?

Now, to write at least something practical and not just pseudo-philosophical shit no one can work with, I’ll give you a few keywords loosely linked to interests of mine. 

emotional intelligence – Serdar Somuncu – higher consciousness – Effective Altruism – Romanticism – pluviophile – Indie/Indie Rock – Grammar Nazi – Brené Brown – poetry – Coldmirror – melancholy – skepticism – Nietzsche – veganism – wholeheartedness – empathy – Digimon – Andrzej Sapkowski – Post-rock – nyctophilia - Utilitarianism

Me, or: What it's like to be human [Part III]

[Click here for Part I]

[Click here for Part II]

Disclaimer:

Who am I? Does this question suffice? What about ‘Who was I’? What about ‘Why am I?’ I am in a continuous process of becoming, the words I write here today will likely be obsolete in a few months as I constantly strive for personal development.

I’m human. A struggling animal being consisting of various contradicting idiosyncrasies. Fearless, open-minded and awesome from time to time; lonely, insecure and trembling likewise. It depends. On the day, on the weather, on hormones, on other people and how they treat me or how I perceive them to treat me, on some news I come across, or maybe on nothing in particular. In this very moment I am writing these words, I am shaped by circumstances beyond my scope which influence the way I see myself and the world right now.

Alright, now here I come! Have a go with some random and funny facts about me:

◦ I’m an ambivert with a distinct inclination towards introversion. I have to be alone every day for a certain amount of time (plus a whole day per week ideally) to recharge and recover from social interaction as other people, no matter how much I enjoy their company, exhaust my system. I blossom when I surround myself with just one person at a time as I am then able to focus all my energy on them. Being around more than ~6 people in a confined space can cost me a lot of energy which is why I usually get quieter in big groups. It has nothing to do with shyness (which is so often incorrectly linked), it’s simply how I am wired on a fundamental level.

However, in contrast to many other empathetic people, I am able to control my wiring to some extent, which allows me to switch from my introverted mode to a more extroverted version of myself. I am no people person, I don’t like big gatherings of any kind, but I’m able to adapt very well if necessary.

◦ No, I’m not cold. (Insider for all the people who already talked to me in real life.)

◦ I try to stay humble. I managed to emerge from a place of extreme shyness and self-loathing to the awesome being I am today. On the outside, my behavior may come across somewhat arrogant as I, on top of all, am very prone to strong sarcasm and pretending like I don’t give a serious fuck about anything. Truly however, I don’t think I am any better than any other person, I actually yearn for criticism and will always be thankful if you disagree with me and show me a different approach to look at the world. I just believe that there’s no ideal approach to life, which means everybody is equally right or wrong about everything. Which further means that my perception of how the world functions is as valid as every other’s and therefore I am well entitled to take myself super seriously and don’t hold myself back.

Note: This paragraph is vastly oversimplified, especially in regard to science. But, whatever, talk to me if you want to understand me better.

◦ My favorite celebrites are the German cabaret artist Serdar Somuncu and the American researcher Brené Brown.

◦ I am a romantic classicist. No, it’s not about flowers or candle shit, I refer specifically to the epochal ideas/mindsets of Romanticism and Classicism which emerged from 18th Europe.

◦ I love myself unconditionally. Which is a weird thing to say, I guess, as the vast majority of people I know can’t say that about themselves. It means, in short: I truly believe I am worthy of love and belonging, of being happy and achieving my dreams, no matter how often I do something wrong, or how I look, how much I earn, if I commit myself to the world around me or not. I simply deserve to taste life to the fullest.

This is not something I just blindly think. It’s an ‘asset’ I acquired through excruciating hardship. For the better part of my life, I hated myself, I had deeply ingrained self-worth problems which I managed to overcome (with a supportive surrounding) over the past 3 years of my life.

Fun fact: According to studies of the social sciences, unconditional self-love is a pre-requisite to deeply engage with others and love others truly. And not having this sense of worthiness is the exact reason why our interpersonal relationships are often so horribly fucked up, as we are unable to believe that we are truly worthy to be loved by others.

◦ Despite my fucking big nose, my sense of smelling is so bad, it’s almost non-existing.

◦ I am highly empathetic and emotionally intelligent. No mean to brag, I simply know this to be true through personal experience with many different and very troubled, volatile people. I can recognize people’s hidden emotions and intentions quite well, be it in group dynamics or with one person only. It does not, however, mean that I always act accordingly to what I perceive. On the one hand, I'm sometimes simply controlled by my insecurities, on the other hand it is exhausting to read others and engage in real conversations beyond the mask we put on to protect our vulnerable self. I often try to ‘turn off’ my empathetic antenna to not go crazy.

Being empathetic implies several character traits, for example: I cannot really be angry with anyone as I can always comprehend their behavior to some extent, understand where they come from, why they act the way they do and so on. I do hold people accountable for their actions, which is very important, but I try to never blame anyone for anything.

In contrast to my emotional side, I am also very analytical. This is the reason why I can easily get carried away in a conversation as I am forced to investigate everything someone says deeply and create links and patterns in my mind. This may come across like I don’t listen to you carefully and rather daydream, when in fact it’s the exact opposite. I listen so carefully that I risk drowning in thought.

◦ I do drugs. My favorite one is called “binge-watching”.

◦ I am a melancholic. I see this world as a very unfair, sad place with tremendous suffering happening everywhere, utterly unnecessary in many cases. Accepting this fundamental sadness of existence and entertaining its implications is what the melancholy attitude is about. Do not confuse melancholic people with grim or miserable ones. The wisdom of melancholy lies in the understanding that suffering is a core part of universal experience and as fundamental as gravity for example. Embracing melancholy means: Trying to do the best to comfort the afflicted people and animals (in short: sentient beings) around me and trying to bring some joy into this troubled world.

◦ If you’re into the16personalities concept: I’m something between INFJ and ENFP.

◦ I love rain/storms/cold temperatures/the night/forests/cemeteries/lonely, quiet, gloomy surroundings.

◦ I try to live ethically and ecologically literate, which, practically speaking, leans toward a lifestyle including Veganism, Effective Altruism and other fancy liberal badass shit.

Veganism is an ideology proclaiming that it is not right to use animals for our pleasing as there’s no forcing reason to do so. For me personally, it also has a lot to do with bias. Very few people would torment an animal right in front of them, we simply accept torture and murder when it happens in some far away slaughterhouse and when there’s a societal ideology supporting the belief that it’s okay to induce so much suffering when the majority does it. This ideology, the ‘counterpart’ to Veganism, is called Carnism. Yes, it’s a thing. Vegans are not the only ones who bring their beliefs to the dinner table. If you think it’s wrong to eat a cat or dog but right to eat chickens, drink the mother milk of calves and so on, then you believe in an underlying system which tells you what’s right and wrong.

Effective Altruism is a concept aiming at people’s willingness to help others and combining that with a scientific approach to achieve maximum output of doing good. As an effective altruist, I don’t give money to random beggars in my town as I am aware that I can help much more people in far more dire situations when I spend my money wisely and give it to top-ranked charities. There is so, so much suffering in this world. We simply cannot help everyone, but we can try to do our best and help as many as possible as efficiently as possible. Effective Altruism tries to do just that: Doing the most good with what we can offer the world.

◦ I constantly speak with myself out loud. My thoughts demand to be expressed audibly.

◦ I am awesome. As are you, even if you don’t believe it - yet. The ‘secret’ of self-confidence is that simply thinking you can do something (yeah, I know it’s not simple) will actually enable you to really do it. Not perfectly, not everything of course, but still, the right mindset can often make all the difference. 

Eine Selbstdarstellung. Unvollständig.

Wer ich bin? Ist dies von Belang? Genügt diese Frage nach dem Subjekt, erfasst sie die Tiefe einer Existenz? Wer und Was müssen ebenbürtig gelesen werden, soll der Versuch der Ergründung eines Menschen von - fragmentiertem wenigstens - Erfolg gekrönt sein. Welche Persönlichkeit also verbirgt sich hinter diesen Worten virtueller Vergänglichkeit? 

Eine starke. Eine schwache. Eine zerbrechliche. Eine verwirrte und verirrte. Eine Persönlichkeit, die mit klarsichtiger Naivität durchs Leben schreitet, auf der Suche nach etwas, das Sinn verleiht in dieser grotesken Welt des summenden Wechselspiels von betörender Schönheit & grausamer Tristesse. 
Getragen wird sie von beherztem Idealismus. Ein schweres Wort, vielfach besetzt, zuweilen sehr missverstanden. Ein zweischneidiger Begleiter, droht man doch, an seinem Anspruch an eine bessere Welt gar zu baldig zu ersticken, wenngleich Hoffnung als Triebmotor die gebeutelte Seele zu nähren vermag. Ist er mir manche Stunde ein Dorn in Geist & Fleisch, könnte ich doch nie ohne ihn existieren, treibt er schließlich an zu glauben, woran auch immer.
Als Widerpart zu diesem und ergänzendem Teilstück zugleich hat die Weisheit des melancholischen Wanderers sich meine Seele als Heimstatt erkoren. Traurigkeit innewohnt dieser Welt, sie anzuerkennen als natürlich, ja gar ihre Existenz notwendig zu wollen ist die Botschaft der Melancholie; nicht Zorn und Bitterkeit sollen die Kammern unsrer Herzen füllen, eine bloße Traurigkeit genügt, um umso stärker die Farben der Fröhlichkeit empfangen zu können.
In äußerer Gestalt erfüllt indes die Fotografie als Kind des ungetrübten Ausdrucks vollumfänglich ihren Sinn, erhält sich selbst gemäß dem Wesen der Kunst und schafft dem Geist eine Sphäre des verrückten Entrücktseins, stillt den expressiven Drang des Menschen nach Freiheit. Sie ist die Flammenzunge, welche im Glühen des Idealismus unter wachsamen Augen der Wehmut Funken schlägt und abstrakte Botschaft in verstandenes Symbol transformiert. 
Zuletzt verbleibt der sprachliche Ausdruck, der als Schmieröl dieses Apparats fungiert und zuvor genannte Elemente in gegossener Schrift vereint; er dient als Gerüst, webt Brücken über andernfalls verwaiste Klüfte in den Kavernen des geistigen Labyrinths und spannt ein Netz, Halt und Obdach bietend für die in Finsternis verirrten Fragmente des Alles, was eine Person zu beschreiben vermag. 

Die verrückte Welt, in der wir leben.

Ich verstehe es nicht. 
Warum ist es so viel einfacher, Schuld zuzuweisen einem Einzelnen, anstatt unser eigenes Gewissen zu erforschen?
Am 20. Juni dieses Jahres fand in Graz eine "Amokfahrt" statt. Ein Mann wütete in der Innenstadt, tötete mehrere und verletzte viele Menschen. Wir alle waren schockiert, ohnmächtig überrascht ob dieses Unglücks. Es wurden Kerzen angezündet, es wurde getrauert um die Opfer, die Menschen, die nun nicht mehr da waren. Wir haben unsere Betroffenheit entdeckt. Graz trauerte, so titelten es alle Medien.
Ich bin selber Grazer. Ich liebe diese Stadt. Ich habe an diesem Tag niemanden verloren, der mir nahe war. Ich kann zutiefst verstehen, dass dieses Attentat eine Wunde aufgekratzt hat. Und trotzdem musste ich diese Trauerphase der ganzen Stadt mit einem galligen Gefühl im Munde erleben. 
Denn, auf der Welt sterben viele Menschen, jeden Tag, an den banalsten Dingen. An Krankheiten, die bei uns längst vergessen sind, an Hunger, an Einsamkeit womöglich. Aber diese Tode haben keine Qualität für uns, sie sind zu abstrakt, sie berühren uns nicht. Sie dürfen uns gar nicht berühren, denn sie sind verschuldet durch ein System, an dem wir - schuldlos - partizipieren. Denn wir können auch nichts dafür, dass wir hier geboren sind, dass es uns gut geht. Aber irgendwo in unsrem Innersten wissen wir, dass hier etwas schief läuft, und das macht uns Angst. 
Die Amokfahrt macht uns auch Angst, aber es ist eine direkte Furcht vor einzelnen Wahnsinnigen. Es gibt kein diffuses Gefühl, dass man vielleicht selbst, wenigstens passiv, Mitschuld tragen könnte am Unglück.
Aber wäre es nicht schön, wenn wir unsere Empathie nicht nur dann entdecken würden, wenn die Menschen vor unserer Türschwelle sterben, sondern auch dann, wenn es weit weg geschieht? Denn wir leben in einem Zeitalter, in dem man sich informieren kann. Nicht muss; Ignoranz ist ein guter Ratgeber, um den Wahnsinn dieser Welt zu ertragen. 
Nicht muss. Aber kann.
...

Ich verstehe es nicht.
Warum tun die Menschen böse Dinge, selbst wenn sie Gutes bewirken wollen? Warum denken sie nicht etwas weiter über die Schwelle ihres Horizonts hinaus?
In verschiedenen Städten, unter anderem auch in Graz, kann man für ärmere Menschen Essen oder Trinken vorbezahlen, z.B. einen Kebap, den diese sich sonst nicht leisten könnten. Was für eine nette Geste, möchte ich sagen. Aber so einfach ist das nicht. Denn die Produktion dieses Kebaps verursacht viel mehr menschliches als auch tierisches Leid auf der ganzen Welt. Unmittelbar leidet das Tier, welches unter erbärmlichen Bedingungen vor sich hin vegetiert, mittelbar leiden Menschen, z.B. durch die Rodung von (Regen-)Wäldern, die zuvor noch ihr Zuhause waren, um Soja zur Fütterung der Massentierhaltung anzubauen. Oder durch den exorbitanten Wasserverbauch, der bei der Produktion von Fleisch anfällt.
Und das alles, damit ein armer Mensch in Österreich (der alleine dadurch, dass er hier lebt, trotzdem zu den reichsten der ganzen Welt gehört) einen Kebap essen kann.
...

Ich verstehe es nicht.
Warum lügen die Menschen, nicht nur anderen gegenüber, sondern vor allem zu sich selbst? Warum neiden sie jenen ihr kleines Leben, die ohnehin schon nichts besitzen, und erfinden Zahlen und falsche Tatsachen?
Europa hat gerade die Problematik von globalen Flüchtlingsströmungen zu bewältigen. Immer wieder tauchen Berichte auf, vornehmlich im Internet, die mit fingierten Zahlen und angeblichen Wahrheiten doch nur Unwahrheit verbreiten. Ursache und Wirkung werden verwechselt, kleine Details zu empörenden Szenarien aufgebauscht. Warum besitzt der Flüchtling eigentlich ein Smartphone? Das darf der doch gar nicht. Er hat gefälligst nichts zu besitzen, wenn er sich schon anmaßt, hier in unser gelobtes Land „einzureisen“. 
Im Gegensatz zum Flüchtling besitzen wir oft nicht nur ein Smartphone, sondern dazu noch ein Tablet und Notebook und am besten noch zehn andere Sachen. Wenn man aber auf der Flucht ist, im Taumel zwischen Krieg & Vertreibung Länder überqueren muss und getrennt ist von seinen Lieben, dann ist ein Smartphone mit Internetzugang plötzlich kein Luxusgut mehr, sondern eine Quelle, um nicht verloren zu gehen in all dem grausigen Treiben. Aber wir neiden es ihnen, diesen – es sind ja ganz ganz sicher zuhauf – Sozialschmarotzern, Wirtschaftsflüchtlingen. 
Was heißt dieses Wort eigentlich? Wer sind denn die wahren Schmarotzer? Vielleicht doch wir selbst, die wir für €3,99 unsere T-Shirts kaufen aus Bangladesch oder China und uns dann beschweren, wenn die Leute von dort zu uns kommen, um sich nicht länger ausbeuten zu lassen? Sind nicht wir die größten Sozialschmarotzer in diesem globalen Spiel des Strebens nach Wohlstand?
...

Ich verstehe es nicht.
Warum ist es so viel einfacher, Anteil zu nehmen am Leid eines einzelnen Geschöpfes, als am Leid vieler?
Vor Kurzem wurde ein Löwe getötet, Cecil. Er hat sogar einen Vornamen. Es schmerzt uns zutiefst, was mit ihm geschehen ist, und dieses Monstrum, dieser Unmensch, der ihn getötet hat, muss dafür zur Rechenschaft gezogen werden. 
Und warum? Weil wir nicht daran schuld sind. Weil wir unsere ganze Wut auf diesen Mann projizieren können, denn wir haben den Löwen nicht getötet. Nein, wir töten nicht einen Löwen, wir töten nur Millionen von Schweinen, Rindern, Hühnern, vergasen Küken und lassen uns unser Schnitzel schmecken. Und das darf uns nicht leid tun, denn oh weh, wir gingen zugrunde an diesem Trauma, wenn wir dieses mitverschuldete Leid tatsächlich an uns heranließen. Also schweigen wir, uns selbst gegenüber vornehmlich, und spenden für ein paar Löwen und Pandas weit weg in der Welt.
...

Ich verstehe es nicht. 
Kannst du es mir erklären?

On education and life

Modern society likes to highlight the importance of education. In theory, at least, or more precisely: in the sense of specialised knowledge in all kinds of academic fields. Science has become a vital force, alongside with the humanities gaining higher reputation every day. There seems to be one specific field however which isn't viewed as something to be taught in a decided manner in school or university: life itself.

With life itself, I refer to all the things everybody does and no one wants to talk about, at least not publicly or outside an academic framework I should say. 
Friendship. Love. Heartbreak. Budget keeping. Living with rommates, coping with family disputes. Anxiety. Shame. (In)Security. You see where this is going? Education lacks a philosophical guideline on how to actually live 'properly'.
These topics, on a sensitive level, are not embedded in some curriculum, they are implicitly expected to be "learned", comprehended via actually experiencing them. Which may appear as a reasonable approach, after all there's so much to be learned about elaborated know-how only teachers can explain that these sorts of things belong to mothers and fathers, they ought to be discussed among families and friends, not in the classroom. And after all, that's private stuff, why would I want to discuss such things in public?
I'm not convinced by this approach, for various reasons. 

1) No one has a clue what they're doing. 
I'm a big fan of the enlightenment, don't get me wrong. Freedom of the mind, democrazy, rationality paired with philosophy and art, sapere aude - great great, wonderful stuff, love it. I however resent this notion of the 18^th century that humans are on a fundamental level rational, reasonable beings who, when educated in the right manner, know who they are and what they're doing with solid certainty. Modern findings in fields like neurobiology, psychology or the social studies in general show us that this is far from the truth. We are moody due to our hormonal balance, we unconsciously act on primitive instincts, we may have knowledge about something and still act against it based on an emotional impulse etc. etc.
On a scale from Neanderthal to homo sapiens, we are some kind of fearful ape struggling with existential problems on a daily basis. And even more problematic, these issues are handed down to us by a tradition of not dealing with them. Family history often marks the birthplace for many mental problems simply for the reason everyone's too ashamed to talk freely about them. This ranges from lesser troubles like weight problems to denial of family violence. ("What, no, of course my ancestors were against slavery/nazis/colonization/the thing which is evil now!") 

2) We are alone.
Lonely too, sadly. When people try - really try - to understand themselves as well as others, they often realize that this story of stepping in another one's footsteps is quite the tough task. Everyone has his/her own imagination of reality, based on biological differences, social constructs, personal experiences. One can never understand another person to the core. Which isn't even necessary, there lies a much bigger problem at hand. Many people in "modern", industrial countries lack deep friendships or deep relationships with other humans in general. A 2012 poll from BBC attested one quarter to one third of all Londoners chronic loneliness.¹ We often have no one to talk to which poses a crucial threat because ...

3) ... "pain demands to be felt."2
Society tends to emphasize 'the bright side of life'. We're told not to worry and be happy instead, to stand up for ourselves and live life to the fullest. Well guess what, it's not that easy, and no one actually believes it to be. How many people can say that they love themselves unconditionally (which, as modern social science proclaims, is an essential ability to be compassionate and empathetic)? How many people can say that they don't suffer from feelings of shame, misunderstanding or personal inadequacies? (Not many I hope since those feelings are proof you're not a sociopath.) How many people can say that they have a functioning and loving family life? 
Do you have someone in your life with whom you can share the dark things lurking under the mask you put on for others? The people who lack that special someone are faced with the problem of coping with life unable to address their existential problems, which leads to many dangerous outcomes, one being addiction, in a broad sense. Addiction can be seen as chronical numbing, occuring in many facets. Alcoholic disease, eating disorders, drug abuse, binge-watching, compulsive gambling ... The point is: Due to lack of social connection, we numb our problems thus threatening the health of our psyche. Unexpressed issues flourish on not being expressed, they thrive on secrecy.

For all these reasons, I firmly believe in a necessary paradigm shift concerning our approach as a society in general to deal with existential3 problems of humankind. We are biologically hardwired for connection, we are higher mammals with an elaborated sense for social interactions. If we raised a new generation with a mindset enabling them to speak freely about things today deemed as 'personal matter only' and an educational system supporting this mindset, I believe we could become a truly open-minded, compassionate species. Bigger problems beyond our personal scope would also benefit from this approach as we could deal with them more focussedly. If there lurks an unsolved chaos inside of you, you can never concern yourself with climate change fully devoted to the cause.
Clarification: I'm not saying you're obliged to tell every stranger your deepest secrets or break down crying in front of your boss because you've experienced impotence last night. BUT, a big fat but, I think we should live in a societal arrangement where it would be deeply understandable if you did so. An environment in which vulnerabilty and honesty would not be seen as some sort of weakness, rather as strength and courage. 

To conclude: It's not like we'd have to invent a totally new realm of thought for these changes to happen. Thousands of years ago, humans have developed a lovely thing called philosophy. While being present at all times and underlaying every society, philosophy throughout history tends to appear somewhat washy and blurry between religious, economic and scientific developments. I believe we should pay more attention to it. Despite all the fancy indiviualism nowadays, humans need guidelines, we long for narratives to locate ourselves in this big, messy world we happen to exist in. 
So why not share our stories?

¹ http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-london-20324373

2 Quote from "The Fault in Our Stars" by John Green

3 ^{Yeah, I like that word.}